The neurodivergent coaching conundrum: why ADHD gets all the attention?

Why just ADHD, dear coaches? (I have my guesses)

Lately, I've been asked by many connections here: why is it that ADHD coaching is booming, but we hear less about coaching for conditions like ASD, AuDHD or any other neurodivergent conditions, actually?

The ADHD coaching phenomenon

ADHD coaching is practically a household name, and it's clear why. ADHD primarily involves challenges with executive functioning - things like staying organised, managing time, or holding it together when everything feels like it’s about to fall apart. These challenges are concrete and easy to address with strategies that work. Coaches can help you keep track of your to-do list, set goals, and build better habits. For a lot of folks, it’s a game-changer.

But when we start talking about ASD, AuDHD or other neurodivergent conditions, the landscape becomes a bit murkier. Yes, executive functioning might come into play, but there's so much more going on.

The neurodivergent puzzle: ASD, AuDHD and beyond

When we look at conditions like ASD, AuDHD , dyslexia, dyspraxia, BD (to name a few)- the puzzle pieces are harder to fit together. These conditions often come with deep emotional complexity and sensory overwhelm that coaching simply isn’t designed to handle.

For example, ASD can involve sensory sensitivities, social communication challenges, and a lot of emotional processing that isn’t easy to work through with a to-do list and a few productivity tips. AuDHD the combo of ADHD and autism, introduces layers of emotional confusion and sensory overload, making it even trickier.

The risk of oversimplification

Here’s where it gets slightly, hmm, dicey? Coaching can be fantastic for tackling surface-level challenges (this is not a diss!) like organisation or goal setting, but when you open the can of worms that is neurodivergence, especially around identity, unmasking, and emotion, you risk leaving a person stranded without the deeper tools to process and understand it all.

Therapists have spent years learning to hold space and create a safe therapeutic frame. This means that when deep emotional work arises, whether it’s trauma, grief, or unmasking your neurodivergent self, therapists are equipped to help you process these feelings in a contained and safe environment. It’s one thing to unpack your sensory overload with a coach (and its a really good thing, often!), and it’s another to dive into the emotional undercurrents of your identity with a therapist who knows how to handle the complexity.

Coaching can provide structure and a roadmap, but when the road gets rocky and emotional landslides start happening, you need someone with the skills to navigate those deeper emotional terrains without leaving you lost.

So, what’s the difference? When does coaching stop being enough or right?

Therapy isn’t just about talking through your issues, it’s about unpacking and exploring the parts of you that might be too painful to deal with on your own. It’s the space where you can unmask and start being your authentic self. Therapy provides the tools to integrate your neurodivergent identity, to explore the shadows, and to create meaningful change in a way that respects the complexity of who you are. A coach can’t necessarily hold that space in the same way a therapist can, especially when dealing with deeper emotional layers.

When it comes to general competency levels, I have faith. I trust in coaches and their training (mostly, probably as much as I can trust in some therapy or counselling training!), and I truly believe that most people enter coaching with a desire to help and with healthy motivation. However, there’s a key difference here - in therapy training, these motivations, as well as the deeper psychological dynamics of the work, are explored thoroughly to ensure that practitioners are also prepared for what they’re getting into. It’s not just about the skills; it’s about the nuances of supporting someone through their journey, understanding the complexities that come with mental health, and knowing when to refer someone to a therapist for deeper work. Knowing when your journey is separate from theirs, or where it needs to separate further.

Can coaches help with neurodivergent conditions beyond ADHD?

The short answer? Yes, but with some big asterisks.

Coaches who specialise in neurodivergent conditions need specialised training and probably some lived experience too (not ONLY!). To properly support someone with ASD or AUDHD, they have to understand the intricacies of those conditions. But even then, coaches aren’t therapists, and that means they’re not equipped to help with the emotional processing or the identity exploration that comes with unmasking or processing trauma.

This isn’t about saying “don’t go to coaches!”, because coaches can be incredible for practical support and can offer excellent frameworks for organisation and goal-setting. But when it comes to the emotional complexity of neurodivergence, particularly in ASD or AUDHD, therapy is where the real, deep work happens. The therapist’s role is to provide a safe container for you to unpack and explore who you really are, and that’s no small thing. Without skills and expertise - we can all cause harm.

Coaching for mental health?

That’s the thing. It’s a bit of a grey area, and while coaching can provide structure, therapy is often the place to dive deep into the emotional complexities of being neurodivergent. So, when in doubt, always check whether the support you’re seeking is really meeting your mental health needs.

Why does all this matter (also to me)?

As the conversation around neurodivergence continues to grow, we need to keep asking:

Are we truly offering the support that people with ASD, AUDHD, and other neurodivergent conditions need? It’s not just about being organised or “getting stuff done”, it’s often about understanding who you are, unmasking the parts of you that have been hidden, and navigating a world that wasn’t built for you.

I love seeing people supporting others in diverse ways, whether it’s through coaching, therapy, or other forms of guidance. It’s incredibly uplifting to witness inspiring individuals dedicated to helping others navigate their challenges. However, all I ask is that those in these roles take full responsibility for working with vulnerability. When you’re guiding someone through their inner world, especially when it involves deep emotional or mental health work, it’s crucial to acknowledge the responsibility and the potential impact of that role. Understanding when to refer, knowing your own limits, and ensuring the person’s safety and well-being should always come first.